Monday, November 16, 2009

Don't Cry For Me, Alaska

I fully expect Sarah Peron Palin to belt out Don't Cry For Me, Argentina Alaska when she starts campaigning for 2012.
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I now believe in reincarnation.
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She cultivates a following among white voters who feel disenfranchised, are threatened by progress, are suspicious of scientific explanations for natural phenomena, enjoy hunting and shooting defenseless animals, and rely heavily on anti-intellectual and folksy colloquialisms like "you betcha." She, like her followers, lack a basic understanding of academic fundamentals like geography such as whether Africa is a continent or a country, or the precise denotative distinction between England, Great Britain, and the United Kingdom. She, like her base, may suffer from cognitive dissonance. She promotes suspicion of government, while living off its largess.
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She winks, literally and figuratively, at her supporters who are threatened to literal paranoia by the thought of a black family in the White House.
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Conservatives like Glenn Beck, inveigh against international bodies like the United Nations, and then go running to them to shut down websites that parody his character assassinations. Conservatives decry "socialism," while handing out substantial payments from the Alaska Permanent Fund, and calling it "good business." Conservatives advocate criminal treatment of drug users, but cry 'health issue,' when Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh are revealed to be junkies.
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If Palin were ever to become president, she would start a war in the Middle East to hasten Armageddon.

3 comments:

Alex said...

Even as I strive for objectivity, I find I can't disagree with a single thing you have said here...

Jim Overheul said...

Seconeded...you picked the thoughts out of my brai much more coherently than I could have stated them. Thank you!!

I am not Star Jones said...

But won't she try to get Katie Couric fired first? Andrew Sullivan has her pegged: "She has the glib cruelty of George W and the character of Richard Nixon. But Nixon, for all his faults, was authentic."

She can only see the White House on a guided tour.