CHANTILLY - WorldNetDaily majordomo Joseph Farah announced today, that WND is going to investigate Willard Mitt Romney's birth certificate and family history, to determine once and for all if the Republican presidential candidate has unicorn DNA.
"We know for a fact that Barack Hussein Obama's major influences were card carrying Communist Party activists. Both of his parents were communists, as well as Frank Marshall Davis, Obama's secret father. Davis died in Honolulu in 1987. The connection is obvious."
Farah continued, "What we don't know, is if Willard Mitt Romney is a dual Mexican citizen and more importantly, if Romney has unicorn DNA from his family tree. Judge Cebull has pointed out the ways Obama's mother slept around. We want to know if any of Romney's ancestors in Mexico slept around similarly. It was a polygamist colony, so who knows? The American people deserve nothing less."
Farah went on to say, "Income from the so-called birther crowd has petered out. We feel by courting the unicorn crowd, we will have a new income stream. A new line of unicorn merchandise has been added to our on-line store, and we now accept every type of payment to make it easy for our readers to indulge themselves, as well as ourselves. For example, we now carry seeds which grow vegetables that are not attractive to unicorns. I'm proud of that."