Friday, October 16, 2009

Electric Cars Are Dangerous

Extra: N Carolina to regulate sale of cereal


by Rodney Scattergood
President, ExxonMobil

Did you know electric cars are dangerous contraptions? It's true. You could plug in your car to recharge its batteries, and be electrocuted. You could just be sitting in it, turn it on, and be shocked - and you haven't even left your home. You could just be sitting in the car as a passenger, and be shocked. You could be in an accident, and the rescue workers could not touch your car, because of the danger of electrocution - and you'll be trapped and left to die. All because you tried to save yourself some gasoline money.

The fact is, gasoline and diesel fuel have a 100-year history of reliably powering our vehicles. No matter if it is a car, truck, train, or airplane, fuels made from crude oil have a proven track record. You can buy whatever you need to power whatever vehicle you are in, at millions of places around the world, wherever you are. You can't say that about electric cars - which will leave you stranded, sometimes in bad neighborhoods.

And fuels made from crude oil are inexpensive, unlike the batteries in electric cars. Did you know the only reliable source of lithium for those batteries, is Bolivia - a country which hates us, and is run by a committed socialist communist? We'll be dependent on another country to make our transportation system run. They could turn off the spigot supply at any time, and we'll be back in the Dark Ages.

Right now we get most of our crude oil from Canada, an English speaking country run by people who love our way of life. Why tempt fate? And you'll never run out of gasoline in your lifetime, unlike lithium for those batteries which are not perfected. Do you want to be a guinea pig? Of course not.

Americans work hard for their pay. Why put your hard earned dollars into buying a contraption, when those same dollars will buy a proven, reliable car, powered by gasoline - which you can buy right at the corner.

Keep a 100-year tradition alive. Your neighbors will thank you. And so will I.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

the USA had over a hundred year tradition of free slave labor. yes it created fabulous wealth but at what price? just because oil has a 100 year tradition doesnt mean its worth the overall price. new technologies ALWAYS cost more at the start. look at computers, in the 1980's a 500mb HDD cost more then a full computer with 2Tb hdd today. your whole premise is flawed, try again.

misha trotsky said...

It's satire - lighten up.

Do you ever read The Onion? They don't have to preface anything with a warning.

Anonymous said...

Electric vehicles could the their batteries set to fully discharge upon sensing an accident. The government of Bolivia is a communist dictatorship. These narcofascists assist the drug lords and steal from the Bolivian people. The United Studies should remove these bozos from power to liberate Bolivia.