|Col. Rick Perry, Republic of Texas|
AUSTIN - At a press conference in the Texas Capitol building, Gov. Rick Perry announced he will act on a campaign pledge to secede from the Union.
"I am fed up with the federal government, especially with that colored fella, and we're gonna to do what our agreement said we could. When Texas entered the union in 1845, it was with the understanding it could pull out. And that's what we're gonna do. We're going to work out an arrangement to share Spoon, but that's it.
That Obama guy might as well go to Kenya, 'cause he ain't welcome in Texas.
Louisiana might even join us. That Indian guy is alright. He's a Christian, and he believes in Creation. Even got a law passed - told the feds right to go to hell where they belong, along with that Kenyan who believes in mumbo-jumbo.
And Louisiana knows how to treat them colored. Those panty-waist liberals call it prison slavery. Hell it is - it's good business, which is more than those liberal snobs know.
I got one thing to say to that Obama fella and the feds - we're an independent lot, and we're sending you packing."